Saint Paul said to Timothy, “…do not
be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord.” 2 Timothy 1: 8 When I read this, I realized that the Lord was
asking me to write down my testimony. It
is my story about the first time that the Lord revealed His undeniable Holy
Presence to me. I did not initiate
it. He did. I read God’s Holy Word many times before this
encounter, but nothing like this happened to me until this very special night.
It was late, about 11:00 at
night. I was living in New York with my
family. I was a Junior in high
school. I had just finished my homework,
and I was very tired, but I decided to read the bible before going to bed. I was in the habit of just letting the pages
of my bible fall open to wherever God wanted me to read.
This night the pages fell open to
Romans, chapter 4. I began reading about
how Abraham was justified by faith, and not by his works. “What then can we say that Abraham found, our
ancestor according to the flesh? Indeed,
if Abraham was justified on the basis of
his works, he had reason to boast; but this was not so in the sight of
God. For what does scripture say? ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited
to him as righteousness.’ A worker’s
wage is credited not as a gift, but
as something due.” Romans 4: 1-4
As I read these words, I felt as if
God was speaking directly to my heart.
When I read, “justified on the basis of works,” I immediately thought
about my homework and my grades. I was
trying so hard to please everybody – my parents and my teachers,
especially. I had the 3rd
highest grade point average in my class of 200 students. I was woefully sleep-deprived from being on
the cross-country running team, and trying to keep up with my homework. I was very hard on myself. I realized that I was pleasing everybody
else, but I was not happy. No matter how
hard I worked, I didn’t feel justified.
There was something missing. I
couldn’t put my finger on it. I was
empty inside, hurting, and lonely.
I was surprised at how the words in
the bible came alive. How did God know
that those words would touch me so deeply?
I felt like God was with me, full of wisdom, and shedding light on my
inmost thoughts.
I read, “Abraham believed God, and
it was credited to him as righteousness.”
This thought was so freeing! All
I had to do was to believe in God! I
could still work hard, but it is the Lord who justifies me, and takes care of
my righteousness. I didn’t need to carry
that burden.
In the next bible verse I read, “A worker’s wage is credited
not as a gift, but as something due.” I felt like something was due to me because
of all my hard work, however, the concept of a “gift” captured my attention.
I was still in awe about the power
of God’s Word when I realized that I was not alone. The Holy Presence of the Lord filled my bedroom,
my heart, my mind, and my very soul. I
felt God’s Love for me like never before.
The Lord spoke to my heart so clearly.
He said, “I am the same God as the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and
the God of Jacob. I am giving you three
gifts that you cannot earn. I give you
My Love, I give you My Salvation, and I will hold your hand all the days of
your life!”
I was stunned. I was smiling from ear to ear, and crying,
because God’s Love for me was so strong, and so real! My nose was running, but I couldn’t move to
get a tissue. I felt like my legs were
paralyzed as I sat on my bed.
A week before this happened, my
Christian boyfriend put his hands on my head and prayed for God to become real
to me. The Lord answered his prayers!
After awhile, I was able to move my
legs and go get a tissue. I was praising
God and thanking Him for blessing me with such beautiful gifts. I called my boyfriend, even though it was
late, and I told him what happened. The
next week I told everyone what happened at the Catholic Charismatic prayer
meeting, that I attended each week with my mom.
This is my testimony. I cannot
wipe this smile off my face or erase this joy from my heart for all that the
Lord has done for me!
Saint Paul also tells Timothy,
“…stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my
hands.” 2 Timothy 1: 6 So now, I will stir into flame these gifts,
for you. The Lord has shown me many
times that the gifts He blesses me with are not just for me. He asks me to give them away. God asks me to give Him away, to share Him.
So, I want you to know that the
gifts God gave to me, He is giving to you, too.
Yes, God is blessing you with three gifts that you cannot earn. The Lord is
blessing you with His Love. The Lord is
blessing you with His Salvation. And,
the Lord will hold your hand all the days of your life! God is blessing you with His Very Self,
through His Holy Word, and His Holy Eucharist.
Praise the Lord and thank Him!
Jesus loves you!!
This is my prayer for you: “Oh, Sweet Jesus, please place Your pierced
Hands on the heads of all those who believe in You. Merciful Jesus, please make Yourself known to
them. May You become real to them! In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen!!”
“For God did not give
us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1: 7
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