I went on my first ACTS (Adoration, Community, Theology, Service) retreat twelve years ago. It was our second
Women’s ACTS retreat for our beloved parish. Before the retreat, I didn’t think my walk
with the Lord could get any better or closer.
I was so wrong! It seems to me
that God never runs out of intimate ways to reveal Himself to us.
I had
experienced many beautiful, powerful encounters with Jesus growing up in the
Catholic Charismatic Renewal. I
participated in weekly prayer meetings with my mother, and then on my own in
college, and after I got married. I
witnessed first hand God’s incredible healing love poured forth abundantly upon
His people. In amazement and wonder, I
soaked it all in. I went into the ACTS
retreat convinced that my relationship with Jesus was all that it could
be. Little did I know that God’s will
for me was quite different. I cannot get
over His tender mercy, faithfulness, and patience with me.
The
ACTS retreat was the perfect setting to draw even closer to God. James 4:8a says, “Draw near to God, and he
will draw near to you.” I experienced
Jesus drawing near both spiritually, on Saturday night, and physically on
Sunday morning.
During
the dinner on Saturday night, I remember thinking that it would
have been nice to drink wine instead of grape juice. I literally had not slept for two nights due
to my over-excitement just being at the retreat. I acknowledged the small sacrifice we were
making, by drinking grape juice, even though I would have preferred to make
that evening more special with wine.
Back in
my room, I tried to fall asleep, and couldn’t. I lay for several hours until finally I got
down on my knees to pray, with the intention of asking Jesus why I couldn’t
fall asleep. That was all the Lord
needed. He had been waiting for me. He had something new to show me. In the Renewal, the Lord blessed many people
with visions to confirm the reality of His love for us and to aid in our
healing. I had been content with the fact
that I did not have the gift of seeing visions.
I figured that the Lord knew best what I needed, and that it wasn’t
necessary for my faith in Jesus.
But, Oh!, I didn’t know what I was
missing! James 1:17a says, “all good
giving and every perfect gift is from
above, coming down from the Father of lights,…”
My spiritual life took on a whole new dimension that night. I could see things with the eyes of my heart that I could not see before. My prayer life will never be the same. Luke 11:13 says, “If you then, who are wicked, know how to give
good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the
Holy Spirit to those who ask him?"
On Sunday morning at the 10:30
return Mass in the cafeteria, Jesus drew near once
again. I will never forget the tears of
joy in her eyes, when a dear friend of mine, who had been at the retreat and
who was a Eucharistic Minister, told me how afraid she was of running out of
wine during Holy Communion. She only had
two sips left in the chalice, and she still had a long line of retreatants to
serve. The tears ran down her cheeks as
she told me how the cup of wine, Jesus’ Blood, did not run dry. She kept looking into the chalice, expecting
it to be empty, but there was always enough wine for the next person. I recalled the sensation of wine bubbling up
from the bottom of the cup when I took a sip.
I was struck by the thought that Jesus took our grape juice sacrifice
over the weekend, and turned it into an abundant wine blessing, a miracle!
I
learned from my ACTS retreat that there are new heights of joy to discover in
knowing Jesus. There are surprising
depths of love yet to experience, and there is an unshakable peace in seeking
and doing God’s will that never grows old.
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