Fear of the Lord

             The fear of the Lord in my life has taught me that He is my mighty fortress.  God is bigger than all of my trials.

 This morning, on the Feast Day of St. Padre Pio, I woke up with a heavy heart.  Something was not right in my soul.  Was it hardness of heart, I detected?  That’s the last thing I wanted.

I was surprised, because I thought going to Confession two days ago would lift this gloom.  I forgave my husband.  I forgave myself.  So, what is this?  Why do I feel this way?

I begged Mary, my holy Mother of God, to unite my heart with her Son’s Sacred Heart.  I only want to love like Jesus loves.  I only want to live conformed to God’s will for me.  I only want to be free to please Him and to delight in Him.

I decided this foul attitude was not of God.  It wasn’t coming from me.  My conscience was clear.  I placed my faith and hope and trust in Jesus that He loves me, even when I don’t feel His love.

I decided to praise and worship and adore my God.  Besides, it was a gorgeous day outside, and I have every reason to be thankful and grateful for all that God has done for me.

I decided to pray the rosary, the Joyful Mysteries, since it was Monday.  I was only half way through the first decade when my sweet Mother Mary came to me in prayer.  I could see her in my mind.  I felt so unworthy to be in her holy presence.  Everything good just radiates from her!  She looked like Our Lady of Guadalupe, with her rays of sunlight shining forth from behind her, and piercing the darkness in my heart.

My heart looked like a bed of barren sticks, so much like the empty nest that all of my five children flew away from.  I could see in my mind that Mary gently laid her Baby Son Jesus in my heart and in my arms!  Jesus loves me so much to allow His Mother to give Himself to me.  I don’t deserve His Mercy and Loving Kindness, but I joyfully accept them deep in my soul.

Then I saw in my mind that Saint Padre Pio, Saint Therese of Lisieux, and Saint Catherine of Sienna were looking at Baby Jesus in my arms, and adoring Him!

All I know is that I was broken, and lonely, and empty, and Jesus came to me through His Holy Mother.  And then, in my mind, I was holding Him, a newborn baby, in my heart, and in my arms.

Jesus is with me!  Jesus loves me!  Jesus fills me up with His Holy Presence, His Peace, His Love, and His Joy!

I don’t need to be afraid.  I don’t need to be anxious.  I don’t need to be sad.  My God is my mighty fortress.  I rest in Him and He rests in me.

“My soul, be at rest in God alone, from whom comes my hope.  God alone is my rock and my salvation, my secure height; I shall not fall.  My safety and glory are with God, my strong rock and refuge.  Trust God at all times, my people!  Pour out your hearts to God our refuge!”  Psalm 62:6-9

“Lord, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty.  I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me.  Rather, I have stilled my soul, hushed it like a weaned child.  Like a weaned child on its mother’s lap, so is my soul within me.”  Psalm 131:1-2

Encouraging Words for the Men’s ACTS Retreat Nov. 7 – 10, 2019

11/6/19    3:08 a.m.

“Oh, My Children, I love you like the day is long.  I love you into all eternity!  I will never stop loving you.”

“You were born from a well-spring of love, a fountain of My Living Water.  I desired to bring you forth into existence.  You are My one and only precious son, My Unrepeatable Soul!”

“I created you to dwell in you, to pour forth all My Goodness into you.  I am captivated by the beauty I created in your heart and soul.   You make Me happy.  I delight in you.”

“I never create junk.  I always create what I love.  There is something so special about you.  I need you.  I need you in this world, to be a beacon of My Light, to walk in My Holy Ways of Love.”

“I am happy to give you everything that you need to follow Me.  In fact, I give you My Very Self in the Holy Eucharist to nourish and strengthen you in your journey to your heavenly home with Me.”

“I died for love of you.  I shed real blood, My Precious Blood, for you.  I rose from the dead for you.  And now, I have My Holy Spirit to lavish upon you.”

“I was a man, just like you, in every way, except for sin.  I have seen your battles, and I know how to fight them.  I have seen your struggles with sin.  That is why I came, to give you victory over your sin, through My Cross, through My Forgiveness, through My Mercy, and through My Love for you.”

“I came to set you free from your bondage to sin.  I came to seek the lost.  I came to find you.  I came to rescue you.  I came to carry you back to My Heavenly Father, your Abba, your Beloved Daddy.”

“You are so worth finding.  You are so worth redeeming.  I am here to save you from a life of sin to a life of holiness.”

“I stretch out My Hand to you.  Take My Hand.  Open your heart to Me.  I will open My Heart, My Sacred Heart, to you.”

“Be the man that I call you to be.  Seek My Face.  Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you.  The fruit of our friendship will be My Love in this world.”

“I love you, My Child, I love you.  I bless you, My Child, I bless you.  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!”

From Now On

         “If you know me, then you will also know my Father.  From now on you do know him and have seen him…If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it.”  John 14:7, 14

These three words rang in my ears, “from now on,” as I was reading this scripture at my Lectio Divina (sacred reading) prayer meeting.  It immediately reminded me of the healing service that I attended the night before, when I stood in the gap for a member of my family who desperately needed healing.

Now that I have asked the Lord for healing, I was told, “from now on,” to thank the Lord for the healing every time I think of it.  “But he was pierced for our sins, crushed for our iniquity.  He bore the punishment that makes us whole, by his wounds we were healed.”  Isaiah 53:5

Instead of despairing about the illness, I am joyfully thanking God every day for the fact that Jesus already healed my loved one through His wounds on the Cross.  From now on, you, too, can thank God every day for the love He has shown you on this retreat.  From now on, you do know Jesus, and have seen Him!  From now on, you know the Father’s love for you.

Encouraging Words for the Teen ACTS Retreat June 27-30, 2019

6/21/19  3:33 a.m.

“Oh, My Children!  You are My Beloved Little Ones.  I hold you close to My Heart.  I carry you most days.  I love you much more than you know.”

“I care about everything that you care about.  I know what you truly need even before you ask.  I know that you need Me, more than anything, to be with you.”

"I did not create you to be alone.  I want so much to have a relationship with you.  I see your heart and soul.  I see the beauty that I created in you.”

“I love you forever.  You are Mine and I am yours.  I love you so much that I sacrificed My Life for you on the Cross.”

“I did this so that My Heavenly Father would forgive your sins because of Me.  That’s right, because of what I did for you.”

“I made a way for you to be with Me, so that you would not be alone.  I made a way so that you could know and feel My Love for you.”

“I will always be with you.  I will always love you.  I carry you close to My Heart.  Lay your head on My Chest.  Hear My Heart beating with love for you.  I am holding you.”

“You have nothing to fear.  You have Me.  I will be with you wherever you go.”

“I love you, My Child, I love you.  I bless you, My Child, I bless you.  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!”

Fire Starters

            “But the souls of the righteous are in the hand of God, and no torment will ever touch them… Having been disciplined a little, they will receive great good, because God tested them and found them worthy of himself; like gold in the furnace he tried them, and like a sacrificial burnt offering he accepted them.  In the time of their visitation they will shine forth, and will run like sparks through the stubble.”  Wisdom 3:1, 5-7

            I never would have thought a year ago that God would call me to be doing what I’m doing today.  It started with some new friends that joined our parish, and who attended the Women’s ACTS (Adoration, Community, Theology, Service) retreat.  I did not attend the retreat this time, but I was blessed to get to know several of the women who experienced it.

            I was used to being involved with ministries inside our parish, like being a member of the choir, being a lector, and being a catechist for RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults).  I was comfortable with the people I already knew, and the ways in which we ministered to one another in the Name of our Lord Jesus.  I wasn’t looking for a change, but my Lord showed me that it was time for me to step out in faith.

            One of my new friends invited me to a Catholic Charismatic Mass at the CCCR (Catholic Center for Charismatic Renewal.)  I just about jumped out of my skin!  I had not been to a Catholic Charismatic Mass for fifteen years, even though I grew up going to weekly Catholic Charismatic prayer meetings with my mom, since 8^th grade, and continued to go to them in college, and after I got married.

I grew up praying out loud, singing praise and worship music, and using the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  In God’s holy wisdom, for the past fifteen years, He took me out of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal.  I missed the weekly meetings terribly, but there were many areas of my life that I needed to pay attention to, and offer up to God for healing, so that I could grow closer to Him.

  Some of the things I learned during this time were humility; growing in my relationship with Mary, my holy Mother of God; learning to pray the rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet; to love and adore my Lord at Eucharistic Adoration; to meditate on God’s Word through Lectio Divina; and to work hard at loving my husband, communicating better with him, and having a better relationship with him.

            This past year my Lord has brought me back into the Catholic Charismatic Renewal.  I have been so blessed and blown away!  I wanted so badly to start a prayer meeting at our parish, but the timing wasn’t right yet.  Instead, the Lord has been sending me and my new friends into people’s homes to start little prayer meetings, and spread the fire of His Love.

Jesus said to his disciples, “All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.  And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.”  Matthew 28:18-20

At first, going into people’s homes felt out of my comfort zone, and definitely out of my shell.  I had to learn to rely completely upon Jesus and Mary, and the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  I constantly wondered what my husband would think.  I was worried that I would neglect my family if I spent too much time ministering away from home.

One night I was praying about this, and Mary spoke to my heart.  She said, “Say YES! to God, like I did.”  Later, Jesus spoke to my heart.  He said, “I make a way!”  Encouraged, I said yes to God, and I trusted in Jesus to make a way for me to do His Will.  I placed my faith in their beautiful words to me.  I stopped worrying about how I was going to get everything done.  God is in control of my life.  I will accomplish everything He has planned for me to do.

Lord, I want, “…to do what your hand and [your] will long ago planned to take place.  And now, Lord…enable your servants to speak your word with all boldness, as you stretch forth [your] hand to heal, and signs and wonders are done through the name of your holy servant Jesus.”  Acts 4:28-30

            “Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful and enkindle in us the Fire of Your Love.  Send forth Your Spirit, and we shall be created.  And You shall renew the face of the earth!”  The Holy Spirit is represented by fire, and fills us with an unquenchable, burning love.

Is God calling you to be a fire starter?  Is God asking you to spread the Fire of His Love?  Jesus is our Light, and my new friends and I truly feel like sparks running through the stubble.  My prayer is that you allow Jesus to ignite you with the Fire of His Love and Light, and come run with Him!  Praise God!

Encouraging Words for Women’s ACTS Retreat – May 2-5, 2019

4/17/19   5:42 a.m.

“Oh, My Children, My Precious Little Ones!  I am here for you.  My Heart bleeds for you.  I offer you My Precious Blood to cover, to wash, to cleanse, to heal, your wounds so deep.”

“Give to Me your wounds, your heartaches.  They are My Wounds, and My Heartaches, too.  They were Mine before they were yours.  I know what to do with them.”

“Did you know that whatever My Precious Blood touches becomes new again?  Did you know that My Streams of Living Water, My Holy Spirit, can flow from the desert of your heart?  Did you know that I can quench your deep thirst for love and righteousness, justice and mercy?”

“I know the longings in your heart.  They are My Own Longings.  What if we unite our sufferings together on the Cross?  Something beautiful will happen in your heart and soul.  If you journey with Me, you will not only die to yourself with Me, you will rise to New Life with Me.”

“Take My Hand, reaching out to you.  I want to walk with you, every blessed and painful moment of your precious life.  I will give you the grace, strength, love, joy, and peace of My Holy Presence dwelling in your heart and soul.  I will be your Lord, your God, and your King.  You will be My Holy, Beloved and Precious Daughter.”

“I love you, My Child, I love you.  I bless you, My Child, I bless you.  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!”

Encouraging Words for the St. Mary's Prayer Group

4/6/19  5:45 a.m.

“I am your Lord, your God, and your King.  I know that you are afraid, My Little Ones.  I am here to tell you not to be afraid.  My Father in Heaven has His Watchful Gaze upon you.  Every moment He holds you in the sight of His Love.  He sees you constantly, as if He came to Eucharistic Adoration just to see you, to be with you, to love you.”

“Oh, My Children, do not fear what might happen to you.  My Father is at work in His Holiness, even now.  Trust in His Merciful Love for you.  He will bring about every good and loving outcome for you.  He has your best interest at heart.”

“Replace fear with trust and hope in your Loving Father, My Little Ones.  You are His Children, holy and beloved, and He loves you forever.  You are deeply cherished and very near and dear to His Heart.  He loves you so much that He sent Me to you.  I am with you always.”

“So, do not be afraid.  I will guide you and bring you to My Father.  Think of yourself already in His Loving Embrace, because you are already dwelling in His Heart.”

“I love you, My Children, I love you.  I bless you, My Children, I bless you!  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!!”

Fresh Gas

           All I knew is that I wanted to get the lawn mowed before I left town to move my daughter into her collage apartment.  I was leaving in two weeks, and I would be gone for two weeks, since we were driving to Savannah, Georgia.  The weeds were already knee high, and it had to be done!

            I pulled out my trusty little crimson push lawn mower, checked the oil, put in the gas, and put on my foggy goggles, mint green pollen mask, and mustard yellow leather gloves.  I wheeled the lawn mower into that level sweet spot in the driveway, where I knew I had the best chance of starting the motor.  I pushed the primer button three times, gripped the safety bar to the handle, and yanked hard on the pull string.  Nothing.  I pushed the primer button three more times, grabbed close the safety bar, and quickly drew out the pull string.  Nothing.  I repeated the whole process again, thinking surely by now I was flooding the engine with gas.  And still, nothing.

            I called Home Depot, where I bought the lawn mower.  I was relieved that the mower was still under warranty, since I only purchased it eight months ago.  Unfortunately, they would have to ship my lawn mower away to find out what was wrong with it.  I called a repair shop who wanted to charge me at least $80 just to look at it.  They said the first thing they would do is empty the gas, and put in fresh gas.  Then they would check the fuel line to see if it was clogged.  I was thinking that surely the gas in my garage was fine.  I just used my lawn mower a month ago, with that same gas.

            I decided in this day and age, I could fix the lawn mower faster and cheaper myself by watching you tube videos!  I watched you tube videos for hours, making a plan of action.  I read sections of the user’s manual online, familiarizing myself with all the parts to my lawn mower.

            I drove to Home Depot to buy a new spark plug and a suction kit to drain the gas.  It took me a long time, but I finally found the correct tool in my garage to remove the old spark plug.  I installed the new spark plug, but I didn’t want to add gas until I finished checking the other things that could be wrong with it.  I was convinced that I needed to take off the fuel line, to clean it out.  I tried everything to pull it off, but I was unsuccessful.  I became more and more frustrated as each day passed, and as the weeds grew taller.

            My husband, who was swamped with work, even said that I could buy a new lawn mower if I couldn’t get this one to work.  I wasn’t ready to give up.  I thought there was one last thing I could do, but it would require me to get inside the gas pump to clean out some tiny holes with a little wire, like I saw in the promising you tube videos.

            It was dark outside at the end of the day when I went out to the garage.  After lifting the lawn mower onto some blocks of wood, I realized that I would have to literally turn the mower upside down to unscrew the motor from the base.  That is where I drew the line.  I had worked on my mower for four days, and I was getting nowhere!

            On the fifth day I decided to drive to the gas station to buy new gas.  I thought I would try one last time to engage my lawn mower before I bought a new one.  I was scared that the mower would just blow up since I tinkered with it for so long, not really knowing what I was doing.  I set up the fire extinguisher nearby, just in case.

            I pressed the primer button three times, squeezed the safety bar shut, and pulled the draw string with all my might.  I was shocked when the engine roared to life!  All it needed was fresh gas!  I was praising God!  What makes gas go bad anyway?  I didn’t care, my lawn mower was working!  Halleluia!

            Immediately, I was struck with the thought that the Holy Spirit is like fresh gas.  Just like my lawn mower needed fresh gas to run properly, I need God’s Holy Spirit to live my life the way God intended me to live it.  “…you will receive power when the holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, throughout Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  Acts 1:8

Encouraging Words for Men’s ACTS Retreat Nov. 1-4, 2018

10/31/18   3:51 a.m.

“Oh, My Children!  I am your Lord, and your God, and your King!  You are My Beloved Sons!  I created you.  I formed you.  I raised you up to be a mighty army in My Holy Name.”

“I have watched over you with tender love and care.  I have been intimately involved with every detail of your life.  I know you better than you know yourself.”

“I hold your heart in My Hands.  I wish to unite your heart with My Sacred Heart.  I want you to know this incredible love that I have for you.  I want to share Myself deeply with you.  I want to walk hand in hand with you in the bottom of your soul.”

“I want to fill you with My Light to disperse the darkness.  I want to bring you My Joy and My Peace.  I want to strike at the root of your soul and plant My Love.”

“I want to so fill you with My Holy Spirit, that you will be on fire with My Holy Love.”

“This is why I came, to set a fire of love upon this Earth.  I came to rescue you from yourself, to save you from your sins.”

“Your heart could be as black as charcoal, but I can make it as white as snow.  The Blood and Water that gushes forth from My Sacred Heart washes over you, cleansing and purifying your heart, soul, mind, and body.”

“Look upon Me, raised up on a Cross.  Believe in Me.  I have taken the first step closer to you.  Open your heart to Me, My Son.  Let Me be a Father to you.  Let Me be a Brother to you.  Let Me be the Holy Spirit within you!”

“I love you, My Child, I love you!  I bless you, My Child, I bless you!  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!”