Emmanuel - God With Us

                My Lord prepared my heart to receive Him at Christmas last Advent.  I love how He gently leads, guides, and then surprises me.  I went on a silent retreat the weekend before Thanksgiving, not knowing what to expect.  I came away from that precious time with my Lord, knowing that I still had an emotional and psychological wound that I thought had been healed, but my Lord showed me how He wanted to step in to heal me in an even deeper way.

                During the retreat Sister Miriam showed us live footage of our beloved Pope Francis closing the Holy Doors at the end of the Year of Mercy.  The fruit of my quiet prayer time was the awareness of my thirsty need to know God the Father’s love for me.  Now that the Holy Doors were closed, and I couldn’t physically walk into the Heart of God, my Father, I invited God the Father to come dwell in my heart, that I may dwell in His Heart.

 Later in prayer, I understood that all the people who entered through the Holy Doors in all the Catholic churches throughout the world, were actually entering into God the Father’s Heart, and they were purified, so that now, after the Holy Doors are closed, God the Father will enter into their hearts so that He will dwell in them, Emmanuel, and act through them to do His Most Holy and Precious Will throughout the whole world!

A few weeks later, our parish had a three-day Mission given by Father Pat Martin, a blessedly blind priest who, for thirty-eight years, daily prayed his rosary as soon as he awoke, saying, “Mary, help me to see God’s love for me today,” after each Our Father prayer of each decade of the rosary.  I was so grateful for the opportunity to go to confession with him.  I told him how I still had this wound in my heart and soul.  He raised his voice to my surprise, and said that I will always have this wound, even into all eternity!  I was shocked!

Little by little I began to understand the truth of what he said.  I used to think when God healed me of something, that the wound would not be there anymore.  Since my pain was gone, I thought my wound was gone, too.  I considered Jesus’ Wounds, on His Hands, Feet, and Side.  Even in His Glorified and Resurrected Body, Jesus said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”  (John 20:27)

I realized that I have a unique landscape of wounds in my heart and soul that nobody else has.  These are my wounds, and nobody else’s!   Maybe this is how God identifies me.  Maybe my wounds are like stars in a constellation, or “the indelible spiritual mark” of my baptism (CCC #1272), that cannot be erased, and that prove I belong to Christ.  Maybe my wounds are actually gifts, places in my heart and soul where Jesus enters in to be with me, Emmanuel, in my sufferings, and to heal me.

I could see and feel for once in my life that Jesus dwelling in my wounds could be more than enough strength I need to conquer my fears with love, and to give myself in loving service to others, completely and unconditionally, like Jesus did for me on the Cross.  Father Martin said I could even love those who don’t deserve my love!

At Mass on the fourth Sunday of Advent, I was struck by the words in the gospel, “’Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel’ (which means, God with us.)”  (Matthew 1:23)  I was thinking about how the power of the Holy Spirit, the giver of life, overshadowed Mary, a virgin, to form the physical Body of Jesus, her son, who was truly with her.  During the consecration of the Holy Eucharist, I was also struck by the, “Holy Spirit coming down like the dew fall,” to overshadow the Host and transform it into the physical Body of Jesus, so that Jesus can be truly with us, Emmanuel.

 I was reminded of the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation, when we are baptized by the Holy Spirit.  Our virginal hearts and souls (cleansed and purified by Jesus’ Precious Blood) are overshadowed by the Holy Spirit, and Jesus is truly present with us, Emmanuel, and born into our hearts! (…a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel)  Jesus isn’t just born on Christmas Day.