Purple Baked Goods

                It all started with a group email request from my dear friend for purple baked goods.  She was facilitating a Young Women of Grace retreat Friday and Saturday at our parish, and needed to feed these hungry teen-agers, ages twelve to eighteen.  I had fanciful thoughts of experimenting in my kitchen with red and blue food coloring.  That was my will, but God had other plans for me, and I ultimately swung by the bakery at my local grocery store, instead.  I walked into our main church office on Friday morning to drop off the cookies I bought, and I learned that there were forty of them – forty young women!  Wow!  What a great turn-out!

                Having done my duty, I thought my obligation was finished.  Little did I know, my involvement with these forty young retreatants was so not over!  Later that afternoon I decided to check which time slots were still open for our once-a-month, twenty-four hour Eucharistic Adoration.  I noticed that there was a big opening from 2:00 a.m. – 4:00 a.m. on Saturday morning!  I debated signing up for either one, or two hours, and wondered how I was going to leave my home without disturbing my husband and son.  I have never committed myself for two hours before…I finally decided to take a leap of faith that God would pave the way for me, and keep me awake that second hour!

                Ah!  I love Eucharistic Adoration!  I sat in God’s holy presence, His unconditional love, and ocean of mercy for over an hour, just soaking Him into my heart and soul.  No words.  Just love.

Then a fellow parishioner entered the daily chapel to pray also.  I still had forty-five minutes, so I decided to pray my rosary, the Joyful Mysteries.  I was praying the rosary the way Saint Louis de Montfort prayed it, with the short phrases in the middle of each Hail Mary, to stay attentive.  While I was praying, I was thinking about the forty young women of grace.  When I got to the third mystery, the “Nativity of Our Lord,” Mary, my Holy Mother of God, spoke to my heart.  She wanted me to do something for her.

First, Mary showed me four of the young women, wearing blue-grey nun habits, so holy!  Their backs were turned to me, so I couldn’t see their faces.  Their love for God was like a breath of fresh air!  Then Mary showed me how she was sheltering all forty of the young women with a corner of her Heavenly Mantle, protecting them from all evil and all harm.  Mary spoke to my heart.  She said, “Bring them to me... be a mother to them.”  I realized that Mary spiritually placed them under my charge, to pray for them always!  I was also aware that I needed to humble myself under Mary’s loving guidance, and be completely dependent upon her.  That is the only way for me to know when, and how, to bring these precious daughters of God to Mary, and nurture their faith.

The rest of my rosary prayers became very special.  For the third mystery, the “Nativity,” Saint Louis de Montfort’s phrase after saying, “Jesus,” in each Hail Mary is, “born into poverty.”  I saw how Jesus was being born into their hearts, one heart for each bead on my rosary.  When I got to the tenth bead of the decade, I realized I needed to pray thirty more “Nativity” beads, because there were thirty more daughters of God needing prayers for Jesus to be born into their hearts!  My hands backed up three times over the ten beads to fit in three more decades.

For the fourth mystery, the “Presentation of Jesus in the Temple”, Saint Louis’s phrase for each Hail Mary is “…Jesus, sacrificed.” I prayed forty Hail Mary’s for each of the forty daughters of God, for their sacrifices to the Lord that they will make during their lifetimes.

  For the fifth mystery, the “Finding of Jesus in the Temple,” Saint Louis’s phrase for each Hail Mary is, “…Jesus, Saint among saints.”  I prayed forty Hail Mary’s for Mary to make each daughter of God a saint!

 This is my prayer for each of these very special young women of grace:

Mary, Sweet Mary, my Holy Mother of God, I humbly and lovingly place these young women inside your Immaculate Heart.  Mary, Holy Virgin, please bathe them in the Wound in your Son’s Sacred Heart, in His ocean of divine mercy and love!  Mary, Queen of Angels and Saints, please offer them up to Jesus’ most holy and precious Blood.

Jesus, my beloved and merciful Savior, I humbly and lovingly ask that You please allow Your most holy and precious Blood to fall upon the hearts, minds, and souls of these chosen daughters of Yours.  Jesus, meek and humble of heart, please consume them in the fire of Your love; baptize them in Your Holy Spirit of Love; be born into their hearts and souls, that they may be born into Your love; and dwell in them, that they may dwell in Your love.

Mary, our Blessed Mother, please help these blessed daughters of God to see God’s love for them today, and every day!  Amen!

Lectio Divina Reflection for Luke 6:43-49

"A Tree Known by its Fruit" and "The Two Foundations"

 1. A word or phrase that attracts me: "A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good" (vs. 45a); "who dug deeply" (vs. 48); and, "does not act" (vs. 49).

 2. What I see or hear the Lord is showing or telling me: Come to Me, listen to My Words, and act on them.

          "A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good." The only way I can truly be a good person is to come to Jesus, listen to His Words, and act on them. The Lord is showing me how very important it is for me to spend time with Him in prayer and reading His Holy Word every day. I need to nurture my relationship with Jesus and Mary. I need to abide in God's Word. "Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

          "...who dug deeply." These words jumped out at me. All I can see, with the eyes of my heart, is Jesus standing at the very bottom of my soul, digging, tilling the soil, breaking up the hardness in my heart, reaching down into my memories, into my wounds, and filling in my brokenness with the love and healing of His Precious Blood, and the cleansing purity of His Holy Spirit, the Water of Life.

          "...does not act." The Lord is telling me to come to Him, listen to His Words, and act on them. This is not easy, the acting part, when I would rather stay hiding in my shell. It's easy to act when I know it's God's will, and I'm filled with His Love, His Joy, and His Strength to do it. It's hard to act when my heart is not in the right place, and I am in need of forgiveness and healing. My actions need to be grounded and rooted in God's love, and in His Holy Word.

          Jesus told Saint Faustina, "Give away everything at the first sign of a demand, even if they were the most necessary things. Do not ask for anything without consulting Me. Allow them to take away even what is due you - respect, your good name - let your spirit rise above all that. And so, set free from everything, rest close to My Heart, not allowing your peace to be disturbed by anything. My pupil, consider the words which I have spoken to you." (Diary, 1685)

          Jesus told Saint Faustina not to ask for anything without consulting Him. I love Saint Faustina's intimate relationship with Jesus! Our Lord was asking her not to act before praying to Him first. The Lord is showing me that I can trust Him to guide me in prayer to know how to act according to His Will, His Word, and His Love!

3. What the Lord is asking me to be or do today, this week, or forever! - "I'm gonna sing when the Spirit says sing!...I'm gonna pray when the Spirit says pray!...I'm gonna love when the Spirit says love!...I'm gonna shout when the Spirit says shout!...and be happy all the day long!"

Luke 6: A Tree Known by Its Fruit.

43 “A good tree does not bear rotten fruit, nor does a rotten tree bear good fruit.

44 For every tree is known by its own fruit. For people do not pick figs from thornbushes, nor do they gather grapes from brambles.

45 A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks.

The Two Foundations.

46 “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ but not do what I command?

47 I will show you what someone is like who comes to me, listens to my words, and acts on them.

48 That one is like a person building a house, who dug deeply and laid the foundation on rock; when the flood came, the river burst against that house but could not shake it because it had been well built.

49 But the one who listens and does not act is like a person who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the river burst against it, it collapsed at once and was completely destroyed.”

Lectio Divina Reflection for James 1:2-18

"The Value of Trials and Temptation," especially, "Perseverance in Trial"

1. A word or phrase that attracts me: "Consider it all joy...when you encounter various trials" (vs. 2); "a wave of the sea" (vs. 6); "all good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights." (vs. 17a); and, "He willed to give us birth by the word of truth" (vs. 18a)

2. What I see or hear the Lord showing or telling me: I don't need to be afraid of the storms in my life, because God is in the storms, directing them for my good. "Consider it all joy...when you encounter various trials." I love how God knows what is best for my soul. I need to have various trials to perfect my soul in love. Because my love is not perfect yet, and I'm still woefully learning how to be like Jesus, I need God to show me where I am lacking, and embrace His grace, while He painfully, but lovingly, purifies my soul. It is a joy to be so loved by God, that He is willing to take such careful measures now, to mold me through my trials, so that later my soul will be ready, full of love, perfected by God, to enter in that holy union with Him, of which my soul yearns for, and God calls me to.

          "a wave of the sea." I have encountered this wave before. It was a wave of paralyzing fear that overwhelmed and washed over my soul. But I have learned that God is in those deep waters, and His perfect love casts out my fears. (1 John 4:18)  It is OK to be a tiny pearl in a tiny clam shell in the sandy bottom of a very deep ocean, hidden in the dark. Psalm 139:12 says, "Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one." You know, that I am there, Lord, and You are with me.

          "all good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights." I was driving from my aunt and uncle's home to my daughter's dorm room in Savannah, Georgia, to evacuate her ahead of Hurricane Irma. I was thinking about a conversation I had with my spiritual director before driving to Georgia. I said that it was so humbling to know that nothing good comes from me, that everything good comes from Jesus and Mary, and that they are already perfect in love.

          When I say things like that, the response is always something like, "but God created you out of the goodness of His Heart!" It reminds me of Genesis 1:31a, after God created Adam and Eve, "God looked at everything He had made, and he found it very good." I realized that I needed to see myself through God's eyes of love, and not to cling so much to my own understanding. The Father of lights above is the author of, "all good giving and every perfect gift." Maybe, just maybe, God gives and sees love and goodness in my soul, that He is perfecting there.  And since, "He willed to give us birth by the word of truth," my soul rejoices in being created by the very breath of God, in all His Holiness, Goodness, Righteousness, and Love!

3. What the Lord is asking me to be or to do today, this week, or forever! ...to cherish being His daughter, and to know His awesome love for me.

James 1:
Perseverance in Trial.
2
Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials,
3
for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
4
And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5
But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and he will be given it.
6
But he should ask in faith, not doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind.
7
For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord,
8
since he is a man of two minds, unstable in all his ways.
9
The brother in lowly circumstances should take pride in his high standing,
10
and the rich one in his lowliness, for he will pass away “like the flower of the field.”
11
For the sun comes up with its scorching heat and dries up the grass, its flower droops, and the beauty of its appearance vanishes. So will the rich person fade away in the midst of his pursuits.

Temptation.
12
Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life that he promised to those who love him.
13
No one experiencing temptation should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God is not subject to temptation to evil, and he himself tempts no one.
14
Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
15
Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.
16
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers:
17
all good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change.
18
He willed to give us birth by the word of truth that we may be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.

Beautiful Souls - Where I Am

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.  He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  If any one serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also; if any one serves me, the Father will honor him.”  John 12:24-26

                Out of the blue my husband sent me an innocent email, asking if I wanted to attend a free conference called, “Pathways to hope – Breaking the Stigma of Mental Illness.”  I printed the flyer, and decided not to sign up until I knew what was going on at home the day of the conference.  I also wanted to pray about it, and see if it was God’s will for me to be there.

                The day before the conference, I read the above daily Mass reading from John 12:24-26.  The words that jumped into my heart were, “If any one serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also.”  I knew immediately in my heart that Jesus was asking me to follow Him to the conference, even though I have never been to one like this before.  His words, “where I am,” had special meaning for me.  If Jesus was going to be at this conference, then I wanted to be where He was going to be!

                I was surprised that I found myself crying as the speakers gave their talks, as if I were on a retreat!  Many organizations from across our city had come together for the second year in a row to raise awareness of the mentally ill among us (and even including us.)  I was struck how very beautiful to God are the souls of those who struggle with depression, anxiety, hopelessness, etc…  I listened to talks called, “What Does Mental Health Ministry Look Like,” “Mental Health in our Schools,” “A Road Map for Success for the College Bound Adolescent with a Mental Health Disorder,” and, “Changed by Conversation.”

                I was mindful of two ministries at my church, V Encuentro (Fifth Encounter – a new Pentecost evangelization outreach) and the Guadalupanos (those who spread the love of Our Lady of Guadalupe), who both sent me soul searching this summer.  For one ministry, I needed to research how the Catholic Church is meeting the needs of those in the outskirts of our communities; and for the other, I needed to pray about which committee to join.  Going to this conference was an answer to prayer!

                I don’t remember which talk I was listening to when Jesus made it very clear to me that He was not only at the conference with me, but that Eucharistic Adoration is, “where I am,” and “there shall my servant be also.”  I knew that Jesus was calling me to be with Him at Eucharistic Adoration, and invite all who battle with, or know someone who battles with, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, etc…  The Lord has been tugging at my heart every time I read the following words from the Precious Blood of Jesus Daily Devotional, “…the remaining days are great and holy.  Your adoration will be great and holy.  Come with reverence and awe and worship your God.” (25 July 1997, P.40)

                To top everything off, last Sunday’s gospel reading was from Matthew 15:21-28, about the Canaanite woman who begged Jesus to heal her daughter.  “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon.” (vs. 22)  Believing that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, we can come to Him at Eucharistic Adoration, just like the Canaanite woman who came to Jesus, and give to Him our deepest needs, and our deepest desires for those who weigh heavy on our hearts.  Oh, that we would hear the same words Jesus spoke to her, “O woman, great is your faith!  Be it done for you as you desire.”  The gospel story ends with, “And her daughter was healed instantly.” (vs. 28)

                After the conference, I read, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you…You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.  This I command you, to love one another.” (John 15:12,16-17)  Jesus is calling me to love those who feel depressed, anxious, and hopeless, etc… Jesus is saying to me, “that is where I am.”  Jesus is not only hidden in the Eucharist, He is hidden inside our souls!

                O Jesus, how beautiful You are!  Thank You that You abide inside the souls of those who daily fight depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.  Thank You that You want them to be well, whole, and healed!  Thank You, Jesus, that You are so very close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:19).  Thank You, Jesus, that You are meek and humble of heart (Matt. 11:29).  Thank You, Jesus, in advance, for all Your miracles!  Thank You, Jesus, for Your beauty in all of Your creation.  Thank You, Jesus, that You created each and every one of us in Your beautiful, holy image.  Thank You, Jesus, that we are Your beloved sons and daughters!

                Lord Jesus, we give You everything that pulls us down, everything that makes us anxious, and everything that causes us to lose our hope.  For every time we were depressed, anxious, and lacking hope, please stir our hearts to trust, have faith, and hope in You!  Jesus, You are the Lord of all creation, and the Lord of all of our lives.  O Jesus, I give you my heart, my mind, my spirit, and my soul.  I surrender my life into Your holy hands!  Please fill me, and those I pray for, with the beauty of Your love, Your peace, and Your joy.  May Your loving, holy, and precious will be done in my life, and in the lives of my loved ones.  Jesus, I love you!  Amen.

Words of Encouragement for Teen ACTS Retreat - June 29 - July 2, 2017

6/27/17      7:37 a.m.   

“Oh, My Children!  I have loved you with an everlasting love.  I have called you by name.  You are Mine!  …and I am yours.”

“When I think of you, I see you as My Dearly Beloved, My Cherished, Precious Child.  You are the Apple of My Eye.  To Me, you are a Precious Pearl.”

“I created you to delight in you.  I created you to dwell in you, to fill you with My Holy Presence, that you may live in Me, and that I may live in you.”

“I created your heart and soul to be filled to overflowing with My Love, My Peace, and My Joy.  I want you to know in the depths of your being My Love for you!”

“I will never leave you or forsake you.  I will always be with you.  I will protect you from evil and from harm.”

“Rest in Me.  Lay your head on My Chest.  I got you.”

“Surrender to Me your problems and your fears.  Give to Me your hopes and your dreams.”

“I know what is eternally best for you.  I know full well the desires in your heart.  Let me show you how I can meet your deepest needs and surpass your highest expectations.”

“All you truly need is Me.  I am here for you, always.”

“I love you, My Child, I love you.  I bless you, My Child, I bless you.  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!”

Not Hiding Anymore

       

    “…it is because the Lord loves you, and is keeping the oath which he swore to your fathers, that the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand, and redeemed you from the house of bondage…”(Deuteronomy 7:8)

            When I read these words of God to the Israelites after Moses freed them from Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, two phrases touched my heart deeply, and I knew God was speaking these words to me.  “It is because the Lord loves you.”  The Lord loves me!  Oh, how the Lord loves me.

            “…redeemed you from the house of bondage…” The Lord redeemed me from my house of bondage!  This “house” wasn’t a physical structure.  This house was my own way of thinking, specifically, my bondage to fear.

            I had many reasons to be afraid, starting at a young age.   I was afraid of the dark, of punishment, of causing anger in others, of disappointing others, of any type of conflict, of expressing how I truly felt… the list goes on and on.

            Without realizing it, the way I reacted to my fears, was to hide.  I became an expert at hiding.  Any time there was a conflict, I would do my best not to rock the boat, and to steer away from the anger and disappointment in others.  I hid, not just physically, but emotionally, and psychologically.

            My “hiding” became a way for me to not stand up and take responsibility for solving the conflicts I faced.  It was easier for me to allow everyone else to deal with life’s problems.

            I think God knew all along that this bondage to fear was not healthy for me.  In 2005, in His mercy and love, He arranged for me to go on an ACTS (Adoration, Community, Theology, Service) retreat.  This retreat was the beginning of my healing.

            The Lord blessed me with a beautiful gift during that retreat, a gift that helped me to know His love for me.  Now, when I prayed to Him, I could see with the eyes of my heart.  I saw images in my mind that the Lord desired for me.  One of the first images I saw, was Jesus, holding me like a little girl in His lap, and just loving me.  My oldest fear, of not being loved, slowly melted away.

            The more I spent time with God in prayer, the more He would show me this image.  I was overjoyed to feel so loved!  I couldn’t get enough time, alone with God, to feel His love for me, as I was overwhelmed with raising five children.

            One day, Jesus spoke to my heart in prayer.  He said, “For every time you didn’t feel loved, I will love you, and heal you.”  I marveled at God’s loving generosity and faithfulness to me.

            Over the past twelve years, the Lord has been addressing each of my fears, one by one, and empowering me to overcome them.  A month ago I was invited to step out of my comfort zone, and evangelize people thirsty for God in the outskirts of our parish.  At first, I was afraid.  I spent a whole week asking God if this was His will for me.  Instead of hiding, I needed to give myself permission to open my home, and my heart, to allow Jesus and His Mother, Mary, to work through me.

            I had to give Jesus my tiny mustard seed of faith that He would soften hearts and call the people that He wanted to be involved in this ministry.  I had to trust in Jesus to show us who to reach out to with His love.  My earnest prayer was, “This is Your ministry Lord, not mine.  I don’t know where to begin without Your Holy Spirit.  Jesus, I trust in You!”

            “Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”  (Matthew 17:20)  I’ve been so amazed at how the Holy Spirit is moving in our parish!  I’m even more surprised at the mountain that God is moving in my heart and soul.  I’m not hiding anymore!!!

            God healed me from the core of my being!  Jesus spoke to my heart in prayer, “For every time you hid, I will send you forth to others with My love, and heal you.”  Praise God!!!

Consecrated and Commissioned

            It’s all happening so fast!  Jesus and Mary are calling me.  That still, small voice, is directing me by the light of the Holy Spirit.  Jesus spoke to my heart a few weeks ago when I was invited to be a small group leader for a local summer evangelization mission.  Jesus said, “All I need is your faith and your trust.  I will do the rest.”

             I spent a week in prayer discerning my response.  Every time I heard or read a Scripture, or listened to Catholic radio, or everyday conversation, the Lord confirmed in me my answer, “Yes, yes, yes!”  The message was clear – spread the joy of the Gospel!

            Several times in prayer over the last month, in my mind, Jesus has been allowing me to kiss His Bare Feet, sometimes bloody and nailed to His Cross, other times beautifully clean and resurrected.  Mary, my Holy Mother of God, also allowed me to kiss her feet, in my mind, in prayer.  At other times in prayer, in my mind, Jesus and Mary kissed my unworthy feet, with gentleness and compassion.

            At Eucharistic Adoration I was extremely humbled to learn my mission in life, which my Lord showed me with such tenderness and love.  My mission is to allow Jesus and Mary to wash and kiss the feet of those around me, through me.  Mary also showed me that each time I allow her to wash and kiss someone’s feet, she will lay down a long stemmed rose at their feet, which I can pick up and use to adorn her crown!

            My new names are, “Washer and Kisser of Feet!” and, “Adorner of the Queen’s Crown!”  What a fantastic mission!  I love God’s saving plans for me.

            Three weeks ago Jesus spoke to my heart at Eucharistic Adoration.  He said, “Allow Me to permeate every aspect of your life…I’m going to offer Myself through you to My Father.”  At the time, I didn’t understand what these words meant, but now I see that He will sacrifice Himself through me to His Heavenly Father by washing and kissing the feet of those around me!  Jesus will show His Love for those around me, through me.  Praise God!

            Yesterday, during the Spanish Mass at our parish, I was consecrated to Our Lady of Guadalupe, even though I don’t speak Spanish!  I am a Guadalupana now!  This means that I am commissioned to spread the love of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  Praise the Lord!

            Before this Mass, I bought one raffle ticket.  There were five prizes.  After Mass, our beloved priest began pulling out tickets from a cage containing hundreds of tickets.  I was shocked when the fourth ticket he pulled was mine!  I won a 34” statue of Our Lady of Guadulupe!  Two weekends later, I was able to have her blessed by another priest.  Now she has a new home in my home!  I am still in wonder and in awe of God’s blessings for me.  Thank You, Lord!

            I can’t help thinking about Jesus’ Ascension and Pentecost, which we celebrated at Church the last two Sundays.  I truly feel in the guts of my soul that Jesus is commissioning me, like He commissioned His Disciples.  “Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you…” Matthew 28:19-20a

            I feel well-equipped with the love of Jesus and Mary.  I’m ready to go out!  Jesus and Mary, show me some feet!