Monday, August 21, 2017

Beautiful Souls - Where I Am


“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.  He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  If any one serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also; if any one serves me, the Father will honor him.”  John 12:24-26

                Out of the blue my husband sent me an innocent email, asking if I wanted to attend a free conference called, “Pathways to hope – Breaking the Stigma of Mental Illness.”  I printed the flyer, and decided not to sign up until I knew what was going on at home the day of the conference.  I also wanted to pray about it, and see if it was God’s will for me to be there.

                The day before the conference, I read the above daily Mass reading from John 12:24-26.  The words that jumped into my heart were, “If any one serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also.”  I knew immediately in my heart that Jesus was asking me to follow Him to the conference, even though I have never been to one like this before.  His words, “where I am,” had special meaning for me.  If Jesus was going to be at this conference, then I wanted to be where He was going to be!

                I was surprised that I found myself crying as the speakers gave their talks, as if I were on a retreat!  Many organizations from across our city had come together for the second year in a row to raise awareness of the mentally ill among us (and even including us.)  I was struck how very beautiful to God are the souls of those who struggle with depression, anxiety, hopelessness, etc…  I listened to talks called, “What Does Mental Health Ministry Look Like,” “Mental Health in our Schools,” “A Road Map for Success for the College Bound Adolescent with a Mental Health Disorder,” and, “Changed by Conversation.”

                I was mindful of two ministries at my church, V Encuentro (Fifth Encounter – a new Pentecost evangelization outreach) and the Guadalupanos (those who spread the love of Our Lady of Guadalupe), who both sent me soul searching this summer.  For one ministry, I needed to research how the Catholic Church is meeting the needs of those in the outskirts of our communities; and for the other, I needed to pray about which committee to join.  Going to this conference was an answer to prayer!

                I don’t remember which talk I was listening to when Jesus made it very clear to me that He was not only at the conference with me, but that Eucharistic Adoration is, “where I am,” and “there shall my servant be also.”  I knew that Jesus was calling me to be with Him at Eucharistic Adoration, and invite all who battle with, or know someone who battles with, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, etc…  The Lord has been tugging at my heart every time I read the following words from the Precious Blood of Jesus Daily Devotional, “…the remaining days are great and holy.  Your adoration will be great and holy.  Come with reverence and awe and worship your God.” (25 July 1997, P.40)

                To top everything off, last Sunday’s gospel reading was from Matthew 15:21-28, about the Canaanite woman who begged Jesus to heal her daughter.  “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely possessed by a demon.” (vs. 22)  Believing that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, we can come to Him at Eucharistic Adoration, just like the Canaanite woman who came to Jesus, and give to Him our deepest needs, and our deepest desires for those who weigh heavy on our hearts.  Oh, that we would hear the same words Jesus spoke to her, “O woman, great is your faith!  Be it done for you as you desire.”  The gospel story ends with, “And her daughter was healed instantly.” (vs. 28)

                After the conference, I read, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you…You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide; so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.  This I command you, to love one another.” (John 15:12,16-17)  Jesus is calling me to love those who feel depressed, anxious, and hopeless, etc… Jesus is saying to me, “that is where I am.”  Jesus is not only hidden in the Eucharist, He is hidden inside our souls!

                O Jesus, how beautiful You are!  Thank You that You abide inside the souls of those who daily fight depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.  Thank You that You want them to be well, whole, and healed!  Thank You, Jesus, that You are so very close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:19).  Thank You, Jesus, that You are meek and humble of heart (Matt. 11:29).  Thank You, Jesus, in advance, for all Your miracles!  Thank You, Jesus, for Your beauty in all of Your creation.  Thank You, Jesus, that You created each and every one of us in Your beautiful, holy image.  Thank You, Jesus, that we are Your beloved sons and daughters!

                Lord Jesus, we give You everything that pulls us down, everything that makes us anxious, and everything that causes us to lose our hope.  For every time we were depressed, anxious, and lacking hope, please stir our hearts to trust, have faith, and hope in You!  Jesus, You are the Lord of all creation, and the Lord of all of our lives.  O Jesus, I give you my heart, my mind, my spirit, and my soul.  I surrender my life into Your holy hands!  Please fill me, and those I pray for, with the beauty of Your love, Your peace, and Your joy.  May Your loving, holy, and precious will be done in my life, and in the lives of my loved ones.  Jesus, I love you!  Amen.

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