Love is The Answer

“…whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.  This is the commandment we have from him:  whoever loves God must also love his brother.”  (1 John 4:20b-21)

            I’ve always wondered about these verses in the bible.  It seemed to me that I could actually have a very strong love for God, who I couldn’t see, and still have great difficulty loving certain people that I could see.

            Little did I realize that God was asking me to change the way that I loved.  God wanted me to have some, “skin in the game,” to take risks, be involved with the lives of those around me, and prove my love by my actions.

            It’s easy for me to feel love for people who are kind.  It takes a certain amount of sacrifice to love those who are bitter, resentful, angry, or just plain mean.  I can’t do this alone.  What I need is Jesus’ spirit of sacrifice.

            I love the rosary meditation that I heard recently for the fourth joyful mystery, when Mary took her baby Son, Jesus, to the temple to present Him to the Lord.  In this prayer, my brothers and sisters in Christ, who stayed after Mass to pray the rosary, asked Mary, our Holy Mother of God, to obtain for us the spirit of sacrifice.

            Later that same day, I opened a prayer book about Saint Anthony of Padua that I received in the mail.  Even Saint Anthony encouraged people to repentance and sacrifice in their lives.  I read how Saint Anthony was not only a finder of lost things, but more importantly, I finder of lost souls!

            That’s what I want to be – a finder of lost souls.  I don’t have to travel very far to do this.  In fact, I can start with my own family!  It’s not going to take classes, or job experience, or money.  It’s going to take my heart.  It’s going to take a decision, an act of my will, to love, no matter what.

            Love is the answer, but not just any kind of love.  What my heart needs is God’s agape Love – that compassionate, merciful, forgiving, sacrificing love.  This is the kind of love I need to give to my family.  My heart needs to give this kind of love to find lost souls.

            I see my family every day.  Sometimes they can be the most difficult to love.  These are the precious ones that God has put into my life.  This is a training ground of love.  God knows my heart is not perfect, and I need His help if I am going to learn how to love like He loves.  Jesus says, “As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.”  (John 13:34)  At this rate, I need Jesus Himself in my heart to love my family with agape Love!

            So, how do I get this agape Love?  This is how it happened for me.

I desperately needed to know deep in my heart and soul that I was loved by God as a child, that I am loved by God now, and that I will be loved by God forever.  To know this, I needed to spend lots of time in prayer with God, even years.  God graciously blessed me with visions of Jesus and Mary taking turns holding me as a child in their laps, where I soaked in their love.

Eventually, Jesus showed me something I didn’t know I had - inner wounds from childhood.  These wounds were holding me back from becoming the person God intended for me to be, fully alive in Him.  I didn’t know how to fix my heart and soul.  All I knew was that my wounds had far reaching effects into my relationships with my husband and children.  I had a father-daughter relationship with my husband, instead of a partner-partner relationship, and I had buried my authority as a mother.  I lived my life in fear, not in love.  Only God could see the wounds that needed healing in my heart and soul.  Mercifully, He set into motion certain events in my life that would bring this about.

I praise God that He knew exactly the steps I needed to take.  He blessed me with three amazing women - a spiritual director, a therapist, and a very close friend who wasn’t afraid to tell me the truth!  When I went to confession at a Catholic Women’s Conference, I realized that God was asking me to face my fears, and talk to my parents.  Talking to them was like ripping a band-aid off, but I needed to expose my inner wounds, and give Jesus permission to touch and heal me there.

Then, in prayer, Jesus showed me my wounds on His Body on the Cross.  I saw the sacrifice that Jesus made to heal me, because He loves me.  I saw how Jesus and I were united in this pain, and at the same time, we were united in His healing, freeing, rising, agape Love from the Cross!  “For if we have grown into union with him through a death like His, we shall also be united with Him in the resurrection.”  (Romans 6:5)

Some miraculous things started happening.  After twenty-eight years of marriage, my husband finally agreed to go with me to a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Retreat!  Wow!  Our communication is improving more and more every day.  Our love for each other is growing deeper as each day passes, like a second honey-moon!   He is even playing you tube love song videos for me during breakfast every morning!

A beautiful transformation took place in my heart and soul.  In the places where I was bound by sin, hiding, and hurting, Jesus set me free.  I am free to love much deeper than before.  I am free to allow God’s agape Love to flow through my wounds, united to Jesus’ wounds on the Cross, and out of my heart to the hearts of lost souls.  I am free to council my children with truth and love, instead of seeking their approval.  Praise God!

Jesus told Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska in her Diary, “When you say this prayer, with a contrite heart and with faith on behalf of some sinner, I will give him the grace of conversion.  This is the prayer: (Diary, 186) ‘O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You.’” (Diary, 187)

I am so thankful to God that He not only knows how to heal me, He knows how to reach and find the souls in my family.  All I need to do is trust in Jesus and Mary.  In prayer, I bring my family to the foot of the Cross, and entrust them to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  In prayer, I also bring my family to Mary, kneeling beside her lap, and entrust them to her Immaculate Heart.

I trust Jesus, in His Mercy, to give my family the grace of conversion.  I trust Mary to bring my family to Jesus.  I trust Jesus to help me make the sacrifices necessary for my family to see His agape Love for them through me.  I trust Jesus to help me keep His commandment to love my family.  “If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.” (John 15:10)  I want to remain in Jesus’ love, as much as possible.  I want to remain in His agape Love.

I want to love all the people that I see, starting with my family.  Then I’ll know that I’m loving God, who I can’t see.  Then I’ll know that I’m loving God the way He wants me to love Him.  Jesus, please set my heart on fire with Your agape Love!

Words of Encouragement for Women's ACTS Retreat May 10-13, 2018

5/8/18        6:30 a.m.

“Oh, My daughter!  You are so precious to Me.  I have always loved you, since the beginning of time.”

“Come to Me.  I want to hold you in My Loving Arms.  I want to hold you close to Me, close to My Sacred Heart.”

“You are all that I care about.  Your heart and your soul are My Delight.  I created you to be much more – full of My Love, My Peace, and My Joy!”

“Open your heart to Me.  Allow your eyes to gaze upon Me.  Allow Me to hold you, My Precious Daughter.”

“I am your Heavenly Father who loves you.  I am your Brother Jesus, who died on the Cross for you.  I am your Holy Spirit, who stirs up the fire of My Love in you.”

“Come, My Love, let us walk together, you and I, hand in hand.  I have many things to show you.  I will teach you everything you need to know Me, to follow Me, and to love Me.”

“I love you, My Daughter, I love you.  I bless you, My Daughter, I bless you.  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!”

My Love

2/7/05    3:22 a.m.    Monday

“Oh, My Children!  You are so precious to Me!  I love you so very deeply.  My Heart goes out to you!  I invite you to open your heart to Me.  Allow Me to love you.  Let yourself go in My Hands.  I am the One who created you.  I am the One who designed your very soul.  I gave you your heart for one purpose – to love Me.  The love that we share can’t help but to spill over and touch the hearts of everyone around you.  My Love is contagious!!”

“My Love is a very special kind of love.  It is selfless.  It is holy.  It has power to change lives.  It has power to heal.  It has power to strengthen.  It has power to nourish through My Holy Word.  It has power to move mountains through faith.  It has power to free a person from sin.  It has power to shed light on the darkness in your heart, to expose it and expel it.  My Love is the basis for every virtue.”

“My Love comes from Me, and I offer it to you, that you may have My Awesome, Powerful Love dwelling inside your heart.  I love you, My Children.  I desire you to have My Love rooted firmly in your heart.  I desire you to have the desires of My Heart, to follow through with My Holy Will, to act upon My Holy Word.  I desire you to dwell in Me that I may dwell in you.  I desire for you to be filled with My Holy Spirit, to be filled with My Holy Love, to walk in My Holy Ways.”

“You are so precious to Me.  I love you, I love you, I love you!  Allow Me to give you My Love.  Allow Me to so fill you with Myself that you can’t help but to love as I love, to act as I act, to be as I Am, to be full of Me.  I desire to be One with you.  I love you!  I desire to unite Myself with you so that My Love will radiate throughout the whole world!  I love you, My Children.  I bless you, My Children!  I bless you with My Love!  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!!”

I Am the Light

2/13/18      3:39 a.m.

“Oh, My Children!  I am the Light.  I am the Light that shines in your darkness.  I see the way for you.  I know the way for you.  I lead you by the hand.”

“I am never too far away from you.  I hold your soul in existence.  I know your every move, your every thought.”

“I am enamored with you.  I am in love with your heart and soul.”

“I created you out of love.  I called you into being.  I have a special purpose for you, one that only I know.”

“I will tell you more and more as you draw near to Me.”

“I hold your heart in My Hands.  You, whom I love.”

“Have no worries.  Trust in Me.  Have no fears.  Believe in My Word.  Believe in My Words of Love for you.”

“Cling to Me in your darkest hour.  I will cling to you.  I will be with you every moment.  I will warm your heart, and light your path with My Love.”

“I love you, My Children, I love you.  I bless you, My Child, I bless you.  Halleluia, Halleluia, Amen!!”

Pro-Life Healing Rosary Meditation for Joyful Mysteries

            Sometimes when I pray the rosary, my Lord Jesus shows me images in my mind.  I call it, “seeing with the eyes of my heart.”  Jesus gives me understanding of these images, sometimes while I am seeing them, and sometimes when I am writing down what I remember about them.  These are private revelations, and have not been approved by the Catholic Church.  The only reason I am sharing them is to stir up and strengthen your faith in the love that God has for you.

The following meditations are graphic.  In His tender love, mercy, and humility, Jesus gets to the heart of the matter, as only The Master Healer can.  Jesus encounters us, and is truly present, where we need Him the most, deep in our hearts and souls.  Jesus is adept not only at physical surgery, but also spiritual surgery, healing us of things we didn’t even know we needed healing of.  These meditations reveal the compassionate love that God has for all the aborted babies, and their mothers and fathers.

            As for me, I am not worthy to receive these visions.  I am completely at God’s mercy, a poor sinner.  Only by the grace of God, and His great love for little me, could I even begin to have the courage to open my heart, and accept His forgiveness, healing, and love.   These visions are a gift from God.  My constant prayer is to be a good steward of His gifts.  I thank God from the bottom of my heart for His gifts, and I give Him all the glory, honor, and praise!  The greatest gift is Jesus, Himself!  I pray that these rosary meditations will bring hope and healing to mothers and fathers who have lost their children through abortion.  Jesus loves each and every precious soul!  Jesus loves all the mothers, all the fathers, and all the babies!  Praise God!

1^st Joyful Mystery – The Annunciation

            While praying this decade of the rosary, I saw with the eyes of my heart, Jesus, as an unborn baby – incarnate - inside His Mother Mary’s womb.  Loving each and every soul, Jesus identified and suffered with all the unborn babies in the world, as they were being aborted.  Jesus, having compassion upon all the mothers, shone His Light upon all their wombs, healing them from the inside out.

^2nd Joyful Mystery – The Visitation

While praying this decade of the rosary, I saw with the eyes of my heart, Jesus, inside the womb of His Mother, Mary, and I saw John the Baptist inside Saint Elizabeth’s womb.  Little John leapt for joy inside his mother’s womb as he recognized the holy and awesome presence of Little Jesus, his Creator, God, Savior, and King!

^3rd Joyful Mystery – The Nativity

While praying this decade of the rosary, I saw with the eyes of my heart, the newborn baby Jesus in the loving arms of Mary and Joseph.  Then I saw each aborted baby made whole and new again.  One by one, Mary and Joseph held each baby in their arms, and bathed each precious child in their love!

^4th Joyful Mystery – The Presentation

             While praying this decade of the rosary, I saw with the eyes of my heart, Mary and Joseph bringing baby Jesus to the temple to present Him to the Lord.  Then I saw Mary and Joseph lovingly bringing and presenting each aborted baby, now healed, to the Lord!

^5th Joyful Mystery – The Finding of Jesus in the Temple

             While praying this decade of the rosary, I saw with the eyes of my heart, Mary and Joseph finding the Child Jesus in the temple.  Then I saw all the mothers and fathers of their aborted babies, finding their children, too, in the temple!  Praise God!

Softly, just Be love

“A God who became so small could only be mercy and love.”  - St. Therese

                A thought came to my mind as I was driving home from a prayer meeting Saturday morning, during Advent – just be love.  I was moved to tears by Father Pat Martin’s homily.  I didn’t care if anyone saw me crying in the choir bleachers.

            Father Pat talked about God’s goodness, love, and mercy upon us, even when we don’t deserve it.  This truth hit a chord deep inside me.  Twice now, in the past week, in prayer, Jesus and Mary blessed me with all the gifts and all the fruits of the Holy Spirit, even though I am so far removed from deserving them.  It is only out of God’s great goodness, mercy, and love that He blesses me.  The reason that God blesses me, as Father Pat said, is because God loves me!

This truth soaked into my heart and soul.  God loves me!

            Lately I have been most happy when I am emptied of myself, and allow Jesus and Mary to act through me.  I see myself, in prayer, like a little girl sitting on Mary’s lap, while Jesus speaks and acts through me.  Jesus told His Heavenly Father, in His agony in the garden, “not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39)  Jesus emptied Himself to do the will of His Father.

            To prepare my heart this Advent for the coming of Jesus on Christmas Day, I was called by the Lord to empty myself, to surrender my will, so I could do God’s will.  I heard on Catholic radio that the main reason we go to Mass is because we offer ourselves as a sacrifice along with Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross.  That made a lot of sense to me.  So, the next time I went to daily Mass, I surrendered my will to God as my sacrifice.  To confirm my surrendering, I saw with the eyes of my heart, Jesus, standing next to the alter with His feet in water.  He was holding a white Resurrection cloth, ready to baptize me in the water, in the Holy Spirit!  Later, during the Glorious mysteries of the rosary, Mary promised me that she would lead and guide me.  I prayed that I would only do God’s will in my life, every moment!                                      

            I’ve been understanding lately that God is already dwelling inside those who are cooperating with His Holy Spirit of love.  I don’t have to wait until I’m in heaven to be in union with God’s love!  God’s kingdom is already unfolding on earth every time someone recognizes God’s goodness, love, and mercy.

            I am like a house that God dwells in.  “Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter under my roof, but only say the Word, and my soul shall be healed.”  The kingdom of God is made of many houses, many souls, where God dwells in His love.

            I’ve been thinking about living life in the present, moment by moment, now that my fourth child is in college, and only my youngest child is living at home with my husband and I.  I’ve been thinking about living life slowly, mindfully – being aware of God’s holy presence, of God’s love for me every second of my life – allowing God’s goodness to dawn upon me – letting go of my miseries in God’s ocean of mercy – breathing in God’s new life in my heart and soul – just being still in the knowledge of God’s love for me – just being loved by God, just having my being in God’s love, just living in God’s love, just being love – just be love!

            If I could just be love, then all my thoughts and actions would be rooted in love.  “…that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”   (Ephesians 3:16-19)

            Just be love.  I don’t have to be anything else, but love.  I believe God wants to flood the world with His love.  God wants each and every precious soul that He created to know His love for them.  God wants us to be His love for each other.  God calls us just to be love!

            Frustrated after a couple of days of failing to be love, I got up in the middle of the night to pray.  Jesus invited me to enter into His Sacred Heart.  I asked Mary to intercede for me for the grace to do this, since I am so unworthy.  Jesus brought me to God Our Father.  I saw with the eyes of my heart a humongous Heart in the air, a mile wide, and a mile high, and as thick as the length of a football field!  It was God Our Father’s Heart, so enormous!  Wow!  When I crawled back into bed, I heard these words in my heart, “I want our hearts to beat as one!”  I understood that God wants everyone’s hearts in the whole world to beat as One!

            Two nights later, in prayer, I could see with the eyes of my heart that Jesus brought me the sun, and put it in my heart!  Then Jesus spoke to my heart, saying, “My Light in you is brighter than the sun!”  Praise God!

            At Christmas Eve Mass, as I was standing in line to receive Holy Communion, a little boy broke loose from his mother and scampered in front of me.  The man standing in line to my right, scooped him up in his grand-fatherly arms and held him for awhile before telling him to go back to his mother.  When I received Jesus in the host I saw with the eyes of my heart that Jesus was a little boy, just like the boy who ran in front of me!  In my mind, I held little Jesus in my arms, and embraced Him, and loved Him!  No wonder my heart needed to be softened with God’s goodness, love, and mercy during Advent – little Jesus was coming to BE with me!

            Jesus is pure love!  In order for me to be love, I need Jesus to be love inside me.  I need Jesus to be Himself inside me.  Praise God that we can receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist!

Jesus spoke the following words to Saint Faustina’s heart, “I expect from you, My child, a great number of souls who will glorify My mercy for all eternity.  My child, that you may answer My call worthily, receive Me daily in Holy Communion.  It will give you strength…” (Diary, 1489)  I can’t help thinking that my call, our call, is to be love for one another, and the most effective way to do this is to allow our hearts to be softened, so that we can worthily receive little Jesus Himself, the source of all goodness, mercy, and love, into our hearts!  Jesus, please be love in our hearts!  Jesus, please be YOU in our hearts!  Thank You, Jesus, for coming to us as a little boy to be with us on Christmas Day, and every day!  Praise God!

Purple Roses

                

                Mary, my holy Mother of God, has been waking me up in the middle of the night to pray for the forty young women of grace in our parish.  One night, her sweet presence was very strong.  She invited me to enter inside her Immaculate Heart.  I asked her for the grace to do this, since I am so unworthy.

                Mary spoke to my heart.  She said, “I clothe you in my Spouse, the Holy Spirit.”  I saw, in prayer, with the eyes of my heart, how she placed a light blue, transparent mantle, or robe, over me.  There were beautiful roses of grace on the bottom edge of the robe.

                Then Mary brought to me her Son in the form of a Holy Eucharist Host.  She gave me a spiritual communion!  In prayer, in my mind, I ate the Body of Christ, the Body of my Lord Jesus!  Praise God!

                Then I saw, with the eyes of my heart, forty Holy Eucharist Hosts imbedded into my robe.  Mary asked me to pray forty Hail Mary’s, which I did.  For each Hail Mary prayer that I prayed, Mary gave one of the Hosts, a spiritual communion, to one of the forty young women of grace!

                I noticed that there were forty gorgeous pink roses on the bottom edge of my robe.  Mary asked me to pray forty more Hail Mary’s so that she could give a rose of grace to each of the forty young women of grace.  I did!  I love being obedient to Jesus through Mary!

                Then Mary put forty small white daisies into my robe and asked me to pray forty more Hail Mary’s for each of the forty young women of grace.  With each daisy, Mary gave purity, humility, docility to the Holy Spirit, and holiness, to each of these precious daughters of God!  Praise God!

                I could see, with the eyes of my heart, that Mary’s mantle was covering all forty daughters of God.  I saw all the forty Hosts, forty pink roses, and forty white daisies in the bottom edge of her mantle, praise God!

                Then Mary presented me to her Son, Jesus, and He placed a blue-gray nun’s habit over the robe of the Holy Spirit I was wearing.  I could see, with the eyes of my heart, that the robe of the Holy Spirit was like an inner liner for the nun’s habit.  I could see the edges of the Holy Spirit robe under the nun’s habit, and the edges had roses of grace on them.  How beautiful!  Thank You, Jesus!  Thank you, Mary!  I love You, Jesus!  I love you, Mary!  Praise God!!

                In the middle of the next night, Mary called me to pray again.  This time, in prayer, Jesus held me in His arms like a little girl.  He invited me to enter inside His Sacred Heart.  I asked Mary to intercede for me for the grace to do this, since I am so unworthy!

                Jesus brought me to God, my Heavenly Father.  I felt very humble and small, and emptied of myself, and filled with Mary’s Immaculate Heart, and Jesus’ Sacred Heart.  My greatest desire was to do God’s Holy Will every moment of my life.

                God, my Father, blessed me with a halo, like the angels wear!  The halo helps me to know God’s loving Will!  I asked Mary to intercede for me so that I would always know God’s Will, and always be obedient to God’s Will.  Praise God!!!

                This morning, five days later, I prayed the Joyful Mysteries of the holy rosary in front of my “Our Lady of Guadalupe” statue in my bedroom on the tile floor.  Before I began the rosary, in prayer, I repented of my sins at the foot of the Cross.  I saw with the eyes of my heart, Jesus, standing in front of me.  He picked me up like a little girl, and held me to His Chest, and hugged me, and loved me.  I cried.  I was so sorry for my mistakes and my sins.  Jesus just loves me, and forgives me!

                Jesus drew me into His Love and His Peace, into His Sacred Heart.  I asked Mary, my holy Mother of God, to intercede for me for the grace to enter into Jesus’ Sacred Heart, since I am so unworthy.  Jesus walked beside me and held my little hand.  He brought me to see Mary, His Holy Mother.  As we were walking, I noticed the smell of roses.  I looked down, and we were walking on beautiful dark purple roses.  I could only see the heads of the roses since they were packed tight against each other.

                I understood that the deep purple roses were for the forty young women of grace!  The purple color comes from the fusion of the blue grace from Mary’s mantle, that she wears, and the red Precious Blood from Jesus’ Sacred Heart.  The purple roses represent the fusion of the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  It is the union of the Love of Jesus and the Love of Mary!

                Mary is blessing each of the forty young women of grace with this beautiful Love of Jesus and Mary!  These forty purple roses also represent these forty daughters of God filled with the love of Jesus and Mary!  Praise God!!!