“Allow Me to permeate every aspect of your life… I’m
going to offer Myself through you to My Father.” These were Jesus’ Words to my heart during
Eucharistic Adoration last Saturday morning, May 6, 2017, from 6:00 – 7:00
a.m. I was just soaking in God’s loving,
holy presence for an hour before He spoke to me. Wow!
I still don’t understand fully what these words
mean. All weekend I’ve been laying my
heart bare for Jesus to change me, realizing that I can’t do this on my
own. Only God can change me. Only God can heal me. All I know is that Jesus has a firm grasp on
my heart, and He is ever so delicately and tenderly performing spiritual
surgery on my soul.
I went to confession at 3:30 p.m. last Saturday. For my penance, I was told to read John,
chapter 15. “I am the vine, you are the
branches. Whoever remains in me and I in
him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing… As the Father
loves me, so I also love you. Remain in
my love.” John 15:5,9
The thought occurred to me last weekend that one way
Jesus could offer Himself to His Father through me is to so fill my heart with
knowledge of His Love for me, that it would spill over into small acts of
sacrificial love for those around me.
I think this is what happened to me in the middle of the
night, very early, on Monday morning. I
woke up about 3:00 a.m., and decided to spend some time with my Lord. In prayer, I could see Jesus with the eyes of
my heart. He was holding both of my
hands in His Hands, and looking so lovingly into my eyes. I knew He wanted me to go with Him to show me
something, like He often does when I pray.
For some reason, when He tried to gather me up in His
Arms, like He would hold a little girl, I was very heavy, like the fifty-five
pound bag of dry dog food that I buy, and can barely lift into my
car. I was having difficulty just abandoning
myself to the Lord. My heart was not
light, and filled with His Love and Joy and Peace.
Praise God that Jesus never gives up on me! He never stops trying to get His Love through
to me. He never stops permeating me with His Love!
Instead of picking me up, Jesus gently led me by the
hand. I could see myself as a little
girl walking hand in Hand with Jesus on a beach, along a seashore, taking me on
a journey.
In prayer, when Jesus wants to heal me, and fill me with
His Love and His Peace, He takes me to the beach! This time Jesus took me all the way back to
when I was conceived! On the return
journey, Jesus showed me how He always
loved me, no matter what was happening in my life. Jesus laid a foundation of Love, imprinted on
my soul, filled in with beautiful beaches stretching back to my farthest
memories.
Jesus showed me this one contiguous beach that spanned my
whole lifetime, my past, present, and future.
Jesus has always loved me. Jesus
loves me now. Jesus will always love me
in the future! Wow!
I feel renewed in God’s Love for me. I feel that Jesus has given me a whole, new,
fresh beginning in my walk with Him, a deeper conversion. I feel healed. I feel whole.
Praise God!
Jesus asked me, “So what do you want to do now?” I said, “Let’s play on the beach!”
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