“A God who became so small could only be mercy and
love.” - St. Therese
A thought came to my mind as I was driving home from a
prayer meeting Saturday morning, during Advent – just be love. I was moved to
tears by Father Pat Martin’s homily. I
didn’t care if anyone saw me crying in the choir bleachers.
Father Pat talked about God’s goodness, love, and mercy
upon us, even when we don’t deserve it.
This truth hit a chord deep inside me.
Twice now, in the past week, in prayer, Jesus and Mary blessed me with
all the gifts and all the fruits of the Holy Spirit, even though I am so far
removed from deserving them. It is only
out of God’s great goodness, mercy, and love that He blesses me. The reason that God blesses me, as Father Pat
said, is because God loves me!
This
truth soaked into my heart and soul. God
loves me!
Lately I have been most happy when I am emptied of
myself, and allow Jesus and Mary to act through me. I see myself, in prayer, like a little girl
sitting on Mary’s lap, while Jesus speaks and acts through me. Jesus told His Heavenly Father, in His agony
in the garden, “not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39) Jesus emptied Himself to do the will of His
Father.
To prepare my heart this Advent for the coming of Jesus
on Christmas Day, I was called by the Lord to empty myself, to surrender my
will, so I could do God’s will. I heard
on Catholic radio that the main reason we go to Mass is because we offer ourselves as a sacrifice along with
Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross. That made
a lot of sense to me. So, the next time
I went to daily Mass, I surrendered my will to God as my sacrifice. To confirm my surrendering, I saw with the
eyes of my heart, Jesus, standing next to the alter with His feet in
water. He was holding a white
Resurrection cloth, ready to baptize me in the water, in the Holy Spirit! Later, during the Glorious mysteries of the
rosary, Mary promised me that she would lead and guide me. I prayed that I would only do God’s will in
my life, every moment!
I’ve been understanding lately that God is already
dwelling inside those who are cooperating with His Holy Spirit of love. I don’t have to wait until I’m in heaven to
be in union with God’s love! God’s
kingdom is already unfolding on earth every time someone recognizes God’s
goodness, love, and mercy.
I am like a house that God dwells in. “Lord, I am not worthy that You should enter
under my roof, but only say the Word, and my soul shall be healed.” The kingdom of God is made of many houses,
many souls, where God dwells in His love.
I’ve been thinking about living life in the present,
moment by moment, now that my fourth child is in college, and only my youngest
child is living at home with my husband and I.
I’ve been thinking about living life slowly, mindfully – being aware of God’s holy presence, of
God’s love for me every second of my life – allowing God’s goodness to dawn
upon me – letting go of my miseries in God’s ocean of mercy – breathing in
God’s new life in my heart and soul – just being
still in the knowledge of God’s love for me – just being loved by God, just having my being in God’s love, just living in God’s love, just being love – just be love!
If I could just be
love, then all my thoughts and actions would be rooted in love. “…that he may grant you in accord with the
riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the
inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have
strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length
and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,
so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:16-19)
Just be love. I don’t have to be anything else, but love.
I believe God wants to flood the world with His love. God wants each and every precious soul that
He created to know His love for them.
God wants us to be His love
for each other. God calls us just to be love!
Frustrated after a couple of days of failing to be love, I got up in the middle of the
night to pray. Jesus invited me to enter
into His Sacred Heart. I asked Mary to
intercede for me for the grace to do this, since I am so unworthy. Jesus brought me to God Our Father. I saw with the eyes of my heart a humongous
Heart in the air, a mile wide, and a mile high, and as thick as the length of a
football field! It was God Our Father’s
Heart, so enormous! Wow! When I crawled back into bed, I heard these
words in my heart, “I want our hearts to beat as one!” I understood that God wants everyone’s hearts
in the whole world to beat as One!
Two nights later, in prayer, I could see with the eyes of
my heart that Jesus brought me the sun, and put it in my heart! Then Jesus spoke to my heart, saying, “My
Light in you is brighter than the sun!”
Praise God!
At Christmas Eve Mass, as I was standing in line to
receive Holy Communion, a little boy broke loose from his mother and scampered
in front of me. The man standing in line
to my right, scooped him up in his grand-fatherly arms and held him for awhile
before telling him to go back to his mother.
When I received Jesus in the host I saw with the eyes of my heart that
Jesus was a little boy, just like the boy who ran in front of me! In my mind, I held little Jesus in my arms,
and embraced Him, and loved Him! No
wonder my heart needed to be softened with God’s goodness, love, and mercy
during Advent – little Jesus was coming to BE with me!
Jesus is pure love!
In order for me to be love, I
need Jesus to be love inside me. I need
Jesus to be Himself inside me. Praise God that we can receive Jesus in the
Holy Eucharist!
Jesus
spoke the following words to Saint Faustina’s heart, “I expect from you, My
child, a great number of souls who will glorify My mercy for all eternity. My child, that you may answer My call worthily, receive Me daily in Holy Communion. It will give you strength…” (Diary,
1489) I can’t help thinking that my
call, our call, is to be love for one
another, and the most effective way to do this is to allow our hearts to be
softened, so that we can worthily receive little Jesus Himself, the source of all goodness, mercy, and love,
into our hearts! Jesus, please be love in our hearts! Jesus, please be YOU in our hearts! Thank You, Jesus, for coming to us as a
little boy to be with us on Christmas
Day, and every day! Praise God!
