Fear of the Lord

             The fear of the Lord in my life has taught me that He is my mighty fortress.  God is bigger than all of my trials.

 This morning, on the Feast Day of St. Padre Pio, I woke up with a heavy heart.  Something was not right in my soul.  Was it hardness of heart, I detected?  That’s the last thing I wanted.

I was surprised, because I thought going to Confession two days ago would lift this gloom.  I forgave my husband.  I forgave myself.  So, what is this?  Why do I feel this way?

I begged Mary, my holy Mother of God, to unite my heart with her Son’s Sacred Heart.  I only want to love like Jesus loves.  I only want to live conformed to God’s will for me.  I only want to be free to please Him and to delight in Him.

I decided this foul attitude was not of God.  It wasn’t coming from me.  My conscience was clear.  I placed my faith and hope and trust in Jesus that He loves me, even when I don’t feel His love.

I decided to praise and worship and adore my God.  Besides, it was a gorgeous day outside, and I have every reason to be thankful and grateful for all that God has done for me.

I decided to pray the rosary, the Joyful Mysteries, since it was Monday.  I was only half way through the first decade when my sweet Mother Mary came to me in prayer.  I could see her in my mind.  I felt so unworthy to be in her holy presence.  Everything good just radiates from her!  She looked like Our Lady of Guadalupe, with her rays of sunlight shining forth from behind her, and piercing the darkness in my heart.

My heart looked like a bed of barren sticks, so much like the empty nest that all of my five children flew away from.  I could see in my mind that Mary gently laid her Baby Son Jesus in my heart and in my arms!  Jesus loves me so much to allow His Mother to give Himself to me.  I don’t deserve His Mercy and Loving Kindness, but I joyfully accept them deep in my soul.

Then I saw in my mind that Saint Padre Pio, Saint Therese of Lisieux, and Saint Catherine of Sienna were looking at Baby Jesus in my arms, and adoring Him!

All I know is that I was broken, and lonely, and empty, and Jesus came to me through His Holy Mother.  And then, in my mind, I was holding Him, a newborn baby, in my heart, and in my arms.

Jesus is with me!  Jesus loves me!  Jesus fills me up with His Holy Presence, His Peace, His Love, and His Joy!

I don’t need to be afraid.  I don’t need to be anxious.  I don’t need to be sad.  My God is my mighty fortress.  I rest in Him and He rests in me.

“My soul, be at rest in God alone, from whom comes my hope.  God alone is my rock and my salvation, my secure height; I shall not fall.  My safety and glory are with God, my strong rock and refuge.  Trust God at all times, my people!  Pour out your hearts to God our refuge!”  Psalm 62:6-9

“Lord, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty.  I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me.  Rather, I have stilled my soul, hushed it like a weaned child.  Like a weaned child on its mother’s lap, so is my soul within me.”  Psalm 131:1-2