Journal Entry - Day 3

Friday, Jan. 20, 2017 - Inauguration Day (1^st Day of Donald Trump’s Presidency)

Our Lectio Divina Prayer Group decided to go to Mass and pray the rosary for peace in our nation and in the world, instead of having our regular meeting this morning.  I couldn’t go to the Mass because of a family obligation, however, I was able to join my friends for the rosary.

By the time I arrived at the daily chapel, I felt so unworthy to be there.  During the Sorrowful mysteries of the rosary, I couldn’t help crying.  In prayer, I saw Jesus with the eyes of my heart just gather me up like a little girl in His Arms.  He just held me.  Then he blessed me with His Forgiveness and Mercy and Love!

I felt so incredibly loved, even though I knew I didn’t deserve it.  Jesus washed away my sins.  I invited Him into my heart and soul.  I saw Mary, my holy Mother of God, standing in front of my heart, which looked like open doors to a tabernacle, where Jesus was residing.  I felt such deep, deep peace and love.  I felt that Mary was blessing me with the answer to my prayer, “Please help me to see God’s love for me today.”

I stayed for Eucharistic Adoration after the rosary, just soaking in God’s Holy Presence, and His Holy, Holy, Holy love in my heart.  A good friend of mine started cleaning the daily chapel.  She gave me two glass candle holders to keep, so special!  They looked like tall, clear drinking glasses with a cross etched in the glass. 

My friend said she usually throws them away when she replaces them with new ones, but she said I could have them.  She poured a small amount of remaining hot wax from one of the glass candle holders into the other one.  These candle holders were next to the tabernacle day and night, next to Jesus’ Holy Presence in the Eucharist!  How special!  What a blessing!  Praise God!!

Journal Entry - Day 2

Thursday, January 19, 2017

            I was debating whether or not to pray the rosary…I hadn’t taken a shower yet, and I spent my morning on time sensitive tasks that needed to be done.  I still had more work to do on the computer, but it was getting close to lunchtime, and I was hungry.  I didn’t want to feel guilty about not praying the rosary at the beginning of my day.  I decided to pray anyway, everything on my mind could wait twenty minutes.

            I prayed the Luminous Mysteries.  I was struck by a phrase in the, “Hail Holy Queen,” prayer at the end of the rosary.  It was, “To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve.”  I never thought of myself as a child of Eve before.  Then, in prayer, I could see myself like a little girl dressed in dirty rags of sin, in desperate need of knowing that my mother loved me, and that my Savior came to wash away my sins.  I felt like a banished child.

            At that moment, Jesus came to me, to give me a spiritual communion!  I was overjoyed, and relieved, since I hadn’t been to daily Mass all week.  I said to Jesus, “Ah, Lord!  I am so not worthy that You should enter under my roof!  But only say the Word, and my soul shall be healed.”   I saw Jesus with the eyes of my heart.  First, He handed me His Body, in the form of a Eucharistic Host.  He spoke to my heart, saying, “This is My Body, broken for you.”  In my mind, I took the Host in my hands, and ate it.  Then Jesus handed me a chalice filled with wine.  He spoke to my heart again, saying, “This is My Blood, shed for the forgiveness of your sins.”  In my mind, I took the chalice of wine, and sipped it.

              I prayed to Jesus, “Oh, Jesus, I am so sorry for my sins!  Please forgive me.  Please wash my sins clean away with Your Precious Blood.  I open the doors of my heart, my mind, my soul, and my life to You!  Please come into my heart, my mind, my soul, and my life!  Please come dwell in me that I may dwell in You!  Please help me to die to myself and live for You.  Please help me to pick up my cross each day and follow You.  Please help me to empty myself for You, my special devotion.  Please help me to walk humbly, lovingly, faithfully, truthfully, and with the fear of the Lord, before You all the days of my life.  Jesus, please help me to make lots of room for You in my heart, in my mind, in my soul, and in my life.  Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of Your faithful.  Kindle in us the fire of Your love.  Send forth Your Spirit, and we shall be created, and You shall renew the face of the earth!”

            Then, in prayer, I saw myself as a little girl sitting beside Mary’s lap.  Something amazing happened!  I saw with the eyes of my heart, Jesus giving to Mary many Holy Spirit Doves.  They were flying all around her.  She kept them close to her with her mantle.  Jesus spoke to my heart.  He said, “I will impress Myself upon you.”  I saw Jesus put Himself like a little Eucharistic Host inside the hearts of all the Holy Spirit Doves.  I understood that Jesus was going to work through me to give away all the Holy Spirit Doves to the people around me.  Jesus was going to baptize many people with the Holy Spirit through me!  Praise the Lord!  Bless His Holy Name forever!

Journal Entry - Day 1

Monday, January 16, 2017

                Deacon K. gave the homily yesterday during Mass on Sunday morning.  He spoke about the mission, the calling, of Saint John the Baptist.  Deacon K. said that in our own prayer time, we should ask God what His calling is for each of us.

                This morning, in the middle of my rosary (the Joyful mysteries), I recognized my Lord Jesus’ holy presence.  Ah, how I am so unworthy to be in His presence!  His loving nearness sends me squirming to beg at His Feet, at the foot of His Cross, for His Forgiveness and Mercy upon me, a poor sinner!  Who I am I that He should come to me?

                Oh, how He just wants to hold me, like a little girl, and place my head so carefully and gently on His beating Sacred Heart.  His folds me in His loving arms.  Here I am safe.  Here I am completely loved.  Here I just melt, and rest.  Here I can just be me, so little, wrapped in my God’s love.

                And then I remembered what I wanted to ask Jesus.  What is Your mission, Your calling for me?  I saw with the eyes of my heart, just a willingness, on my part, to allow Jesus to be Who He Is in my heart.   I saw just an emptying of myself, and a being open to letting Jesus do His Work through me.  I saw just a resting in Jesus and in His Mother, Mary, and a trusting in them, that God’s Will would be done.

                Then Jesus spoke to my heart.  He said, “I will enliven the faith of those around you.  I will give them the joy of a relationship with Me.”  Wow!!  Praise God!!  That’s all I ever wanted for those so close to my heart, for my husband, my children, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my friends, my church family, for the whole world!

                My Lord blessed me with this beautiful image in my mind…I was underneath and in the shadows of a great lantern in my heart, burning with the love and light of Jesus Himself.  I was resting beside Mary, my holy Mother, who surrounded her Son, Jesus, with her rose petals, her graces of love and peace.  Jesus just calls me to rest here, so small, with Mary.  He will do all the rest.

                Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. day.  He said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

Questions for reflection:

1.       What is God’s Will for you, just you?

2.       What are the gifts God has blessed you with?

3.       How is God calling you?